Fear

Have you ever had an idea… and then got really scared of it?  Scared of how will you get it all done, how will you let go to ask for help, what if it’s a total flop.

Then.. you decide to just ignore it. Set it aside and find other things to focus on.  No?  Well, you better just scroll on to the next story then.

Me… I struggle with this all.the.time.  ALL the time.

I have these really great ideas, I obsess over them, plan them out, do my research, maybe even kinda start going down the path with it.  Then… somewhere in the middle of it, I get overwhelmed, I get scared, I let the voices on the inside… get louder than anything.

Gosh those voices can be obnoxious and hateful.

Fun fact about me, I like to read and listen to podcasts.  I’m a constantly soaking up information.  Fear, however, is one thing I have not learned how to overcome.  Some days, I just pretend to be an ostrich and put my head in the sand and ignore it… and some days I sit in a place of fear and struggle to find my way out.   I have yet to find that “trick” that one way to overcome it.  My goal every day is to be a better person.  Have you ever really stopped to think about what all that means?

For me, it means:

I want to be kinder than I was the day I lost my temper.

I want to be a better business person than I was last week.

I want to get organized and stay organized.

I want to be a better friend.

I want to not get so lost in the “work”.

I want to not live in fear of failing.

Fear… When it comes down to the nuts and bolts of it, I fear failing.  I fear disappointing those who have believed in me.  I fear hurting someone because of my words or actions.

All of these things… I do often.  So, I try each day to be better.

When my wife says that I’m being short with my words or tone, I try to make a conscious effort to speak with a calm voice and not speak before thinking.  It doesn’t always work that way… but I try.  I try not to fail her. I try not to fail my marriage.

So many people tell me “I don’t know how you do it all”.  Let me be very honest with you.  I can’t do it all.  I fail almost daily at something in my juggling act.  However, I try to have ownership of what I am doing, or not doing, and I try to be better each and every day. I choose every day not to dwell on fear and negativity.  Some days that means avoiding… however, I try.  I get up each day and try. Try to be kinder, a better business owner, a better wife, more organized, a better friend, a better human.

Here is what I do know.  Fear keeps us from moving forward.  Fear causes more anxiety and stress.  So I have made a promise to myself to write down all the steps to move forward and to tackle them one at a time.  I trust the knowledge and believe that I was made for more than fear.  I believe that we each have something bigger we are meant to do.  I fight for each of my clients to find their worth and their value when I photograph them.  I fight this same fight for myself.

In case you didn’t know it, I will fight for you as well.

How do you work thru your fears?

xoxo

Brooke