What word did you choose and why?

Confident

have been working on myself externally and I’m learning that you are never 100% fulfilled until you dig deep and work on the inside. Through this journey my faith has really grown and I feel as though He is telling me, “you have to turn to me more for that happiness, it won’t come from anything externally.”

I think that we often look to our spouse, what our kids have accomplished, what we have accomplished and we just keep looking for more, when is enough enough? This year, to be more confident and happy, I need to lean more into my faith.

I look back to the person I was in high school, and while i’m not proud of it, i was one of the mean girls. Today, I’m proud to say I am a much different person and I often wonder if that girl struggled with confidence and caused some of those behaviors. For me, I learned that no one can bring me true happiness besides myself and my God.

Mentally, for Nikki to be the best version of myself, she needs to get in the gym and give herself a physical release. The days i’m not there, my mind isn’t as strong.

If you could talk to a younger version of yourself, what would you say to her?

I would tell her that alcohol isn’t the path for you. Don’t cave into peer pressure. Be nicer to other people and myself.

What word did you choose and why?

Present

This year I chose the word Present. I’m so used to going nonstop and constantly looking at the next goal, the next project, that it can be hard to shut my brain down and really be present in the moment. I want to face that struggle and get better at pausing, at slowing down and taking in the good life that I have around me. Spending your time with somebody can be a gift.

When you are truly present with someone, that is a gift. I want to get better about that.
Sometimes it’s just about being there, in the moment. So that’s my word. My focus. Be present. I want to enjoy it, and revel in it. Because I’ve worked hard to create a really good life. I want to be present in it now.

What word did you choose and why?

Release

I chose this word because I tend to hold on to regret, anger, tension, anxiety… I just let it all get to me.  There are mistakes I made 20 years ago and I still think about them every day. I need to learn how to pray about it and let it go. I want to have some peace in my heart and my mind.

What word did you choose and why?

Abundance

For a lot of my life I didn’t feel like I was worthy of all of God’s blessings.  Where I am right now, I really focus on the 2nd verse in Jude that talks about God blessing you abundantly in mercy, peace and love.   Abundance isn’t about money for me, its about those three things.  

When I pray and meditate, those are the things that I focus on.  This word guides me in things I read, people I surround myself with, how I live… I want to take it to the next level this year. 

This year, I was humbled and forced to connect with God in a different relationship – this is why the word abundance is what I will focus on.

If you could talk to a younger version of yourself – what would you say to him?

First of all, I’ve lived a blessed life and I’m very grateful for that.  I don’t have any regrets – i’m full of joy and contentment.  I believe that things that have happened to me have led me to where I am right now.   So I would tell him, you are going to have your ups and downs.  You will have stretches of your life full of suffering but you will find meaning. 

If you could give your children any words that they hold true to themselves in their life – what words would you give them?

Be resilient. I want my kids to know that I was fighting, good or bad.  I fought for a beautiful life and that is what I want them to see. I would also tell them to have self grace and to show grace to others – knowing that God has shown grace to us all. 

What word did you choose and why?

Present

I want to be more present and in the moment – at home with my kids, my husband and my friends. I feel like as a woman, we are always multitasking and thinking of all the things we “should” be doing. You don’t finish one thing before you are already thinking about the next. Especially with social media, we just mindlessly scroll and recently I’ve noticed people point out that I’m not listening – and it’s just a mindless thing that I think has become a bad habit for us. I can’t stand it when someone does it to me, so I really want to work on this.

The last couple of years, I struggled with some things mentally and I feel like maybe I’ve lost my identity. Outside of a mom and a wife, I don’t know who I am. I’ve been focusing on my mental health and now I want to focus on being more present with those around me.

If you could talk to a younger Jessica, what would you tell her?

Try not to stress over the little things. You are not alone. You are not the only one going thru this. Don’t feel like you aren’t a perfect mom because you see these other things on social media.