What word did you choose and why?

Balance

I chose this word for a very specific reason.  I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was 11.  A lot of people don’t understand what that means: It’s an imbalance of emotional and thought processing.  So for a lot of my youth – i was very hyper -picture a bouncy ball in a box, that was my mind.  I had a lot of high highs and a lot of low lows. 

When I was 19, I tried to take my life.  I turned to my parent’s and they helped me get the help I needed.  I struggled at inpatient therapy – I knew that I had a good life – i just had a major chemical imbalance in my brain.  So to get closer to getting balanced, I started seeing a therapist that I had been seeing since I was 11 and I met with a new Psychiatrist – so with this combination, I wanted to work on getting off of medication.  For the life goals I had, I needed to be off of it all. With their help, I was able to do that. 10 years later, I had my beautiful son. 

My son has a lot of health issues and working through that, really started to affect my mental health.  On top of that, I decided I wanted to take on a massive project.  

I now understand that taking on big stressors is really hard for someone like me.  I do have an illness.  I am bipolar.  There is no cure.  When I got of medication, my doctor explained you may be good for a while and you may struggle later on as life evolves. So with all of that – I’ve been working on getting back to balance.  That means saying no to things.  It means practicing yoga more than I teach.   It means getting balanced in all areas of my life. 

What word did you choose and why?

Fearless

I chose fearless as my word this year. Fear has been a big thing for the last 8 months with Cancer. The fear of the unknown. What’s going to happen? Will I die in a year? The negativity really set in and it was overpowering. Meltdowns occurred and I’m thankful for my girls.

I started taking these negative thoughts and replacing them with “on the bright side”. If i could shift my mindset – I could find balance in my thoughts and start feeling better. My struggle with fear is now an ability to find the bright side and walk fearless.

If you could go back and talk to Lauri a year ago, what would you tell her?

That was before my mammogram. Don’t worry as much, knowing what I know now, because I know how things turn out.

What word did you choose and why?

Full

I chose this word based on my family. I feel like my life is full, I have three beautiful children, I love what I do and all that I have. This year I want to get better at being more intentional with my kids and being present. We stay super busy with the kids and I just want to be able to enjoy every moment.

I have a business called Fitability. We are relocating to a new space and it is much larger than what we have had. For the longest time, I’ve been focused on the people part of the business and I need to be better at the business side to help promote it and find more donors and sponsors. I need the name to have a stronger presence.

If you could go back and talk to younger Jessica – what would you say to her?

Get out of your comfort zone. For the longest time I did what was easy. Now I am very uncomfortable, had I started this 5-10 years ago it would be so much bigger than it is today.

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What word did you choose and why?

Resilient

My mother died in 2019, I’ve been clean since 1996. When she passed, I found that I was removing myself from people without knowing I was doing it. Resilient means to go thru something traumatic or devastating and to be able to pull myself back into the light.

I finally became ok with who I am and not worrying about everyone else. It feels so good. Everyone always said, “one day you just won’t worry about what others think” and I feel like I’m finally there. I just want to live life and be happy.

If you could go back and talk to a younger version of yourself, what would you tell her?

Wear the swimsuit, eat the cake. Stay away from him, them, that… Be ok in your own skin.

What word did you choose and why?

Love

Love has gotten me through a very difficult last two years. Love of God, family, friends and colleagues. Everyone was praying for me. I don’t think I would be where I am right now without it. It helped me keep a positive attitude all thru treatment. Don’t get me wrong, there were times that I felt so bad and so sick, I just wanted to give up. God would remind me – how much I was loved. I just can’t attribute it to anything else. That is life changing.

I ran across this David Crosby quote and I loved it – it says, “I don’t like greed, I don’t like ignorance, I really don’t like anger, but I love love.” That is how I want to live this year – I just want to spread the love.

I have had a beautiful opportunity to mentor another woman that has recently been diagnosed and this has given me so much. It’s been very cathartic to be able to walk her through this. God knew I needed to help someone else.

What is one major thing you want to focus on and accomplish this year?

I want to impart to my family how much I love them and appreciate them. We are going to be more intentional with spending time together.